a new normal

scrunchie/piggy face

I guess things are kind of returning to normal around here; although it's a sad new, dog-less normal. The first night was really hard, putting away or throwing away all of the Colonel's things (we donated his dog food and heart worm pills to a shelter the next day). When the mailman comes, I still tense up, expecting Colonel to go berserk barking, and when I come home I expect to see him lumber off the couch and be overly happy to see Ben and I. I know it's just going to take a bit of time for this new "normal" to set in.

Our cats have been very happy to have every soft surface in the living room as their realm again. Luc is even so relaxed and happy he keeps snoring on the blue chair in the living room. I didn't even realize he DID snore until yesterday. I guess that shows how at ease he feels now!

The photos here are some I took a few days ago... you can see the Colonel's sleeping legs in the background. That makes these photos a little sad for me, but Ben is so cute I'm posting them anyway.

so, so world weary

TEETH!!

MAD face

Clap! Clap! Clap!

Come here, I'm going to eat you!

a good-bye to Colonel

Today we said good-bye to the Colonel.

After a lot of worry, tears and heart-ache we followed the recommendation of the behavior-specializing veterinarian we hired to give us a prognosis for Colonel.

Based on his history of aggression as a young dog; biting us when we would try to pet him, trying to kill the cats, and covering me with bruises, the behavioralist vet said there is likely a genetic component to his problems that could never be trained out of him. If we didn't have a child in the home we could possibly implement a behavior modification plan that would limit the frequency and maybe the severity of attacks, but we could never be sure he wouldn't snap again.

Just a few nights ago I was laying on the floor playing with Ben. I rolled over to pet Colonel and he growled at me. I hadn't even actually touched him... I wasn't trying to make him do something he didn't want to do... I was just trying to pet my dog. Clearly, after biting three people (giving Clay puncture wounds) and then growling at me for no apparent reason, his behavior was escalating, and now I was a little scared to even touch him. He has always been a little crazy and it's lately been getting much worse.

I have always believed that when you get a pet, you are taking that responsibility on for life. However, Benjamin is the most important thing in the world to us, and the behaviorist vet confirmed that it is not safe to have Colonel in the house with our baby. Having him as an outside dog is not an option either, because that would mean neither Ben nor I could safely go into our backyard. Plus, that wouldn't be very humane for Colonel who wouldn't understand why he's being ostracized or made to stay out in the elements.

The behaviorist vet went on to say that the Colonel could never be trusted near children (or adults for that matter) and his aggression is likely to get a lot worse if we re-homed him because of the stress that would cause him. The vet said there is also a danger of whom-ever took him in would be cruel to him if Colonel was as aggressive to his new owner as we predict. I can't stand that thought. The vet said that in his opinion the most humane thing to do would be to euthanize the Colonel.

I wish I could say that the Colonel had been a great dog, but that wouldn't be the truth.

I can say that for much of the time he was a pleasant, fun, and adorable companion.

I can say that for 6 years, the Colonel was my baby, and we tried everything we could to give him a good home; two rounds of dog classes, a professional in-home trainer, and endless love, attention, consistency and exercise.

However, none of this can make up for the danger he posed to Ben as the Colonel's agression spiraled out of control.

But mostly, I can say that we will miss him.

I can say that we loved him, a lot.

baby stretches

Ben's first fortune cookie: sure sounds ominous!

There isn't much real news to report, so I'm just posting some photos from the last few days. Ben is getting so much better at sitting up, and he can even stretch out and pick up a toy pretty far away then push himself back out. Playing seems a lot more fulfilling for him now that he's not stuck on his back all the time. He still doesn't enjoy tummy time on the floor (he'll almost immediately roll himself onto his back), but he has been enjoying trying to "climb" on Clay and I when we have him in our laps on the couch. While he is certainly not a pro at sitting in a shopping cart or a restaurant high chair, he will usually enjoy/tolerate it for a good 15 minutes or so, which is so nice!

sitting in a restaurant high chair like a big boy!

Below: Ben & his "tambourine"

Below: Ben and Luc

6 3/4 months stats, baby friend, & a bad dog

partners in crime

We returned from our three-week sojourn in El Paso this past weekend, and now things feel pretty much back to normal. It took me over an hour to unpack everything (Clay kindly took Ben with him to go buy the week's supply of coffee so I could unpack sans baby interruptions.) As with the plane ride out to EP, Ben did very well on the way home. Two nice ladies from Las Cruses, NM sat next to us and generously offered to let me put my drink on one of their drink-trays, and even opened my package or peanuts for me while (since I was feeding little Ben at the time). It's great that Benji travels so well, and also quite nice how he seems to bring out the best in a lot of strangers!

It really felt like things were back to normal after I got to hang out with my good friend Tina and her adorable boy, Auden yesterday. It's crazy how much a difference three weeks can make. I'm so glad Ben will grow up with little friends!

We had Ben's 6 month check up this past Monday morning (he's almost seven months now, but since we were in El Paso, we had to delay his appointment). Everything checked out beautifully; he weighs 18 lbs, 6 oz (80th percentile), his head circumference is in the 88th percentile (baby big-head), and he is now 29.25 inches long (+95th percentile)-- he grew about 3 inches in the last two and a half months! He's now wearing 9 and 12 month clothes.

Ben telling Auden juicy gossip; Auden responding with the baby version of "Oh, Snap!"

Yesterday I realized that not only are Ben's torso and legs extra long, he's got stretched-out arms too. I put him in his baby swing for the first time in about a month and turned on the mobile to spin above him. A few minutes later I heard a mechanical-distressed sound and realized that he had grabbed part of the mobile and was trying to pull it down! So no more using the mobile in the swing! In fact, I'm thinking he's going to have outgrown the swing pretty soon. Mostly when he's awake now he either wants to be standing in his exer-saucer or sitting/laying on the floor playing. He is not happy to just lay there and watch the world (or the mobile) go by any more.

sleepy angelic face

Lately Benjamin has also adopted two new adorable habits; scrunching up his nose and smiling/making piggy noises & making clicking noises with his tongue instead of babbling.

On the not so happy news front, lately we've been having some disturbing trouble with The Colonel. Even before we went to El Paso, he had been growling and snarling a little when we made him get off the couch.

Then in El Paso he bit my mom when she was getting him get off her chair... bit and bruised me pretty badly when I was trying to keep him from eating our dinner on the countertop... and then he bit Clay so hard he left puncture wounds on his hand. Not that a biting dog is ever okay, but it was one thing when it was just Clay and I. Now that we have a little one who will be mobile in a few months, we are very worried.

I took Colonel to the vet to discuss the issue and the vet has been wonderful-- looking into my options and finding another vet who specializes in behavior issues (apparently there are very very few of these around). This vet is at A&M and only does phone consults with other vets, so my vet is going to get back with me on what we can do about The Colonel. It breaks my heart to think that The Colonel may not be able to live out his days with us, but it is way more scary to think of the damage he could do to Ben if Colonel snapped at him.

*video showing Ben playing with a Christmas gift from Gramma and Grandpa. He has not yet figured out that there is an "inside" to any box that can be reached into.

This bow and arrow is delicious!

. . . and a happy Valentine's Day to one and all!

delicious!

"love bandit": so true

Beep! Beep! Who's got the keys to the jeep? Ben!

Ben drives his first jeep

We have almost completed our final week of "deployment" to El Paso (as Clay calls it). It has been so nice to spend so much quality time with my family and get to enjoy the El Paso sights (we only had one bad dust storm the whole time, too!). Having my parents around to entertain and take care of Ben has been wonderful. We will definitely miss their endless cheerfulness and open arms when he gets fussy back in San Antonio!

I have also gotten a lot of satisfaction out of being able to help my parents around the house and in the yard. It's nice to be useful, and much easier to get stuff done when there are at least two people there to baby wrangle.

We have had a lot of fun getting to see Ben's Uncle Greg and Aunt Mari; they definitely know how to charm a baby! They joined us for our Chinese New Year celebration last Sunday, when a good many potstickers and dumplings were consumed by all (except Benji, who enjoyed spreading avocado all over his face instead.)

That said, we are looking forward to being back to San Antonio this weekend. Three weeks is a long time to be away from home! I wonder if our cats have gone feral...

the new brick path my dad and I put in the backyard

Grandpa time!

grocery shopping with Gramma

Ben entertaining Uncle Greg, or is it vice versa?

Chinese New Year decoration

breakfast brunch at the Double Eagle in Mesilla, NM

Say "yes" to avocado!

bottom teeth are kind of visible

Benji is valiantly trying to grow his two bottom teeth (you can kind of tell from the photo of him to the right). Although they still bother him, I think we're over the worst of the teething pain on those two. Now it will be fun to see how he looks when he's got them totally in!

As far as eating "solids," I feel like Ben is making good progress. (I'm not sure why they're called solids, since by the time I'm done cooking and then blended them, they are anything but solid!) Anyway Ben is now definitely an avocado-a-phile. He loves it more than any other food he's tried, so that's what I've been feeding him while we eat dinner every night. He seems to enjoy eating while we eat, too.

Last week for lunch I made him sweet potato, which he really hated. He'd make the most grossed out face and spit it out. The final time I tried to feed it to him, he actually gagged, so I just threw the rest away. I figure I can try to reintroduce it to him again in a month or so when slightly weird textures don't oog him out so much. This week my mom and I have been feeding him pear for lunch. The first couple of times he shuddered and didn't like it much, but I think it's growing on him. Next it's zuchinni!

With the help of my mom I'm working much more on baby sign language with him too. As much as he loved avocado, I think the "more" sign maybe one of the first he really learns. From what my baby sign language book says, if you start a baby on signing around 6 months, they may start signing back at 8 months. That will be super exciting!

Gramma helping Ben love pear

Also this week, my mom and I have been going through all of the photos in the house, and we found some cute ones of my dad, which definitely bear resemblances to little Ben. (There are some copies of the old photos below.) It's been very interesting to see all the old photos and documents. We even found a funeral receipt from decades ago for $385!

Colonel sneaking a baby sniff

* the video above shows some much coveted "daddy time" at the end of the day

baby BIG forehead!

getting some much-needed rest

HUGS!

***The pictures below are of my dad when he was a baby. I can definitely see some resemblance! ***

SIX months (and counting)

This week we took an El Paso sojourn, staying with my folks while Clay does some work for the firm's El Paso regional office. It has been an incredible pleasure getting to share little Ben with his grandparents and getting to hang out during the days with my mom. I have even been getting some much-needed organizational-therapy done here at my parents house. Having a second person around to help baby wrangle makes all the difference in getting stuff done! The only real downside is the long 12-hour days Clay is having to put in right now. At least that's only temporary!

In the airport flying out to El Paso, Ben totally charmed everyone in the waiting room. He made googly eyes at all the women and grinned at the close-by men. Although he didn't sleep on the plane, luckily I was able to entertain him well enough. Hurray for a (mostly) happy baby!

He had a hard time acclimating to his new surroundings that first night, though. He woke up (literally) every hour until about 3 in the morning, at which point I spread sheets on the floor and decided to sleep on the floor next to him. Then he slept like a dream. The next day we bought a real crib (he's outgrown his pack-n-play) and he's slept just fine ever since.

starting to like avacado

Today Benito turned 6 months old! His newest accomplishments are: sprouting the very beginnings of two sharp little bottom teeth, and when he flops over from a sitting position he can now push himself back up to an upright position.

in the baby carrier at the airport

snuggling with Gramma